I'm not a giving person. I have the best of intentions, but the worst follow-through. My closest friends tend to be givers and I find myself studying their actions to find out how they do it. They never seem to ask people if they need help- they simple know how to help them and they do it. I could give lots of excuses as to why I don't do that, but at the end of the day, I simply Don't.
Several years ago when we had one child (maybe 2?) I read an article in a parenting magazine by a mom of 2 boys. I don't recall all of the details- but her two boys told her they didn't want Christmas presents that year. Rather, they wanted to raise money to give to one of the third world organizations to provide families with goats and food and housing. I remember reading that and thinking, "THAT! That's what I want MY kids to be like."
Larry and I have talked about what we want our kids to be like when they grow up. We have a list of important character attributes and accomplishments we want for them. At the top of that list is: Servants. We want our children to be warriors of Christ and to demonstrate Jesus' servitude toward others. We want them to be giving, generous, loving. We want them to know how much God loves them, and we want them to show that love to the people and the world around them. We don't know the careers or avenues that they will have as adults, but we do know that we want them to display those characteristics in whatever place they are.
Basically, I want them to be everything I am not.
It's the struggle of every parent. I remember watching an Oprah episode years before I became a Mom about parents who gave their children ALL THE TOYS because they had nothing growing up. So they worked hard and now they make a lot of money and so they lavish their children with anything and everything they want. And oh how I judged them. But the reality is, my children ended up with a Mom who wanted to join the Peace Corps and didn't. So now they have a Mom who wants them to be un-materialistic and giving. Which is probably why I have children who refuse to believe that Santa is not real because (and yes, these are direct quotes): "Christmas is a season of being nice to others and getting presents! Yep. You get presents because you are nice! Santa brings us presents!" Which really, I have to laugh at. Our children (and I say "our" in a collective, universal sense) challenge us in every way, right? Our children are not born to us knowing the mistakes we've made, ready to do better. Rather, our children are born pretty much just like us. The good, the bad, all of it. And then the struggle comes. Because it's not our job to ensure that they don't make our mistakes. It's our job to continue to work toward our own goals in life that God has for us, while helping them discover the goals God has for for their lives. It's difficult.
As this year has gone by and as I reflect I have come to realize, that I am not even close to raising boys who want to give their presents away at Christmas. And I'm not saying that's what God wants for them. But I do have to examine why my children do not even see that as a possibility. I have to examine why my children are materialistic. I have to examine why my children tend to be selfish. Mostly? It's because they're little kids and that's all natural and normal. But you know what I else I realized? They never see it.
My children don't know what it means to be giving. They don't know there are people out there who are hurting and struggling. They don't know there are kids with cancer or families struggling to find food each day. They don't know because I've never told them and I've never shown them. Because, as I mentioned earlier, I have the best of intentions, but I am not a giving person.
Once I made that realization I began to make some immediate changes. I realized that I don't know what God is calling my children to do. But I do know what he's calling me to do. He's calling me to be a servant. He's calling me to show love and generosity and kindness to strangers and people I love. He's been calling me to do those things since I was a little girl. But I always found ways to simply not follow through. And I'm never going to be perfect. There's going to be missed opportunities. There's going to be excuses. But I at least have to start. Because Jesus came and he did some pretty incredible things. And he was not selfish. He did not tell the leper, "I will pray for you" and then walk away. He healed. I cannot heal ailments. I cannot fix poverty or cancer or divorce. But I can pray and then do something more to help a friend. I can pray for a family and then find a group of friends who can help give presents to that family. I can do small things. Why? Because God has done huge things for me. He has moved mountains and calmed raging seas for me. He has sent his son to be born to save me. To ensure that I am forgiven and can receive eternal life. And the very least I can do is be a servant and pay his love forward.
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